Categories
Uncategorized

How kindness is the key to success

These last few weeks in lockdown has given me this gift of time and opportunity to think about my life. Through running my own business I have found my voice and I refuse to hide anymore!

17 years ago I had a life changing experience. I spent 3 days at the Priory mental health hospital in London. This incredible experience completely shattered my world, everything that I thought was real was gone over night. My family was blown apart, nothing would ever be the same again. It was terrifying.

I grew up, in what seemed to the outside world, as a loving and stable family, and this is what I thought too. But there were things that didn’t quite add up and I couldn’t work out what and why.

My experience at the Priory showed me how my survival mechanism growing up was to sacrifice my true self and create this other person my parents wanted me to be. It was this version of me they loved, and it was on the strictest condition that I towed the line. One false move and I felt I would be rejected. So my true self almost completely disappeared and shrank to nothing. I was just a shell.

So I began this exciting, scary and exhausting process of rebuilding my life. I had to relearn so much that normally our subconscious does automatically for us. It’s a challenge but I wouldn’t change this experience for the world. In fact, I wished it had happened sooner. I am discovering myself, learning who I am and this feels so good.

My family has put itself back together as best it can. I have learnt that we only know life from our own experiences. My parents did not act out of malice, but were unable to see beyond their own experiences. They are my parents and I will always love them.

As I peel away the layers of my old habits, learnt behaviour and survival techniques, I am gradually finding my true self and who I really am. Key moments of discovery keep on coming. A couple of years ago my Mum was seriously ill and spent 8 weeks in intensive care. At this very difficult time I was blown away by how kind everyone at the hospital was to our whole family. The doctors, nurses, receptionist, everyone! I thought, wow, this is how I want to be. This experience taught me about compassion and kindness. This is the kind of world I want to live in and be part of. I continue learning about myself everyday and aspire to be as kind and compassionate as I can.

I carry this through whole heartedly into my brand. Kindness is the main value that underpins everything I do at Chez Beccy. I have come to realise that as a society we are not good at being kind to ourselves and this is so important. It because we aren’t taught how. My mission with Chez Beccy is to help other women be kind to themselves so they too can grow and fullfill their true potential!

Categories
Uncategorized

Winners and Losers in the Race of Life

Our societies have advanced tendencies to label certain people ‘winners’ and others – logically enough – ‘losers’. Aside from the evident meanness of this categorisation, the underlying problem with it is the suggestion that life might be a unitary, singular race, at the conclusion to which one could neatly rank all the competitors from highest to lowest.

 

And yet the more confusing and complex truth is that life is really made up of a number of races that unfold simultaneously over very different terrain and with different sorts of cups and medals in view. There are races for money, fame and prestige of course – and these attract many spectators and in some social circles, the bulk of the coverage. But there are also races that measure other kinds of prowess worth venerating. There is a race for who can remain calmest in the face of frustration. There is a race for who can be kindest to children. There is a race measuring how gifted someone is at friendship. There are races focused on how attentive someone is to the evening sky or how good they are at deriving pleasure from autumn fruits.

Despite our enthusiasm for sorting out competitors into neat ranks, a striking fact about the multi-race event of life is, quite simply, that no one is ever able to end up a winner in every genre of competition available. Furthermore, prowess in one kind of race seems to militate against one’s chances of success in others. Winning at being ruthlessly successful in business seems not – for example – generally to go hand in hand with any real ability at the race to appreciate the sky or find pleasure in figs. Those who are terrific at gaining fame tend to be hampered when it comes to competing in the race that measures the ability to be patient around thoughtful but underconfident three year old children.

 

We cannot – it seems – be winners at everything. Those who appear to be carrying off all the prizes and are lauded in certain quarters as superhuman athletes of life cannot, on closer examination, really be triumphing across the board in any such way. They are bound to be making a deep mess of some of the less familiar or prestigious races they are entered for; in certain corners of the stadium, they’ll be falling over, tripping up, complaining loudly about track conditions and, perhaps, sourly denigrating the whole event as useless and not worth participating in.

 

If one cannot be a winner at everything, it follows that one cannot be a loser at everything either. When we have failed in certain races in the mille-athlon of life, we retain ample opportunities to train and develop our strength to win in others. We may never again be able to compete in the race for fame, honour or money, but it’s still entirely open to us to compete in the race for kindness, friendship and forgiveness. We may even win at the not insignificant race for enjoying one’s own company or sleeping very soundly and without anxiety for many hours in the sun.

 

There is no such thing as a winner or a loser per se. There is only a person who has won in some areas and messed up in others. And, to go deeper, someone whose talent at winning in one sort of race means they must naturally and almost inevitably mess up in alternatives – and vice versa.

 

We never starkly fail at life itself. When we mess up in worldly areas and feel dejected and isolated, the universe is just giving us an exceptional chance to begin the training which means we will one day become star athletes in other less well-known but hugely important races – races around keeping a sense of humour, showing gratitude, forgiving, appreciating, letting go – and making do. These are the noble tracks where those who have ‘failed’ can finally, properly and redemptively learn to ‘win.’

Categories
Uncategorized

5 Precious Life Lessons to Learn from Jackie Chan

Jackie Chan, the name that always stands out in the world of martial arts and movie industry, is a world-famous action-comedy actor that everybody knows. Jackie’s achievements are tremendous, not just in the movie industry, but also in charity and as an idol for inspiration.

Here are the top 5 precious life lessons you can learn from the master kung fu actor himself.

1. Work Extremely Hard

During an interview, Jackie said it himself, “Why did I become Jackie Chan? Mostly because I work very hard. When people were sleeping, I was training.” He is known for his intense hard work, especially when he was young.

Jackie started learning martial arts and acrobatics as early as age seven. And even after he and his family moved to Australia, he was subjected to a very strict disciplinary routine. Jackie’s road to success is not always a smooth one. Although he already starred in several martial arts movies in his 20’s, there were many that were unsuccessful.

However, that did not discourage him. Instead, he vowed to work harder and continued to make even more movies, which eventually he went on to create his own style by combining action and comedy. And today, Jackie is one of the few Asian actors who has left their mark in the Hollywood.

Thus, success is not easy, but it does not mean that it is impossible. You have to learn from Jackie Chan and adopt his never-give-up spirit. Whenever you fail, try again and be willing to put in the hard work. And eventually, you will find your own path like how Jackie discovered his own movie style.

2. Dare to be Different

Many people know Jackie for his movies but little did most people know that Jackie once worked as the stuntman to Bruce Lee. In the Bruce Lee era, a lot of actors were trying to copy Bruce Lee and make kung fu films like he did. However, that did not work out well.

While there are similarities between Bruce and Jackie, becoming the next Bruce Lee is the last thing that Jackie Chan wanted. Jackie prefers to have his own style rather than being Bruce Lee. And so he told the press, “I never wanted to be the next Bruce Lee. I just wanted to be the first Jackie Chan.”

Hence, Jackie started to pursue his own signature style of martial arts and combine kung fu with comedy, which is well-received by the audience even today. And this allows him to create his own trademark movies and leave his mark in the audience’s heart.

Regardless of whom you want to be, you can model and get inspiration from your idol or mentor, but never copy exactly the way they did it. You can look up to your heroes and learn from them, but never try to imitate them or become them because everybody is unique and you should shine in your own way.

3. Success is Not Just About Yourself

Another very important life lesson we all can learn from Jackie Chan is his attitude in treating people. Despite his fame and success, he still cares a lot about his team and his friends. For over 40 years, the Jackie Chan Stunt Team has been by his side film after film, and the team is now in their 8th generation.

Jackie prefers to use his own stuntmen from his team whenever possible and he always promotes his team and treats them like a family. In one of the TV shows in China, a tribute video from all of Jackie’s ex-stuntmen was shown. Each of them gave a tear-filled testimony to Jackie saying that Jackie has been treating them more than just employees because Jackie values the brotherhood between them.

Despite being the boss, Jackie would split the earnings with his assistants and team equally in the early days. He also helped one of his stunt team paid the downpayment for a house and also a car.

To Jackie Chan, success is not just about yourself. You cannot accomplish big goals and dreams if you are all by yourself. You need a team and you must treat your team like a family member because they are the ones that will be responsible for your success.

4. Life is a Series of Continuous Learning

In the 1980’s when Jackie first got to California, he did not know how to speak English. His company purposely arranged him to fly alone to the US to immerse himself in the English-speaking world so that he could learn it as quickly as possible.

And Jackie worked really hard in learning his English. He would listen to the US folk songs, watch English films and TV series again and again just to learn how to pronounce the words properly. At his peak, it was told that he hired four English teachers and spent nine hours a day studying the language.

For many people, language is a big barrier that stops them from moving forward. However, this does not happen to Jackie because he believes that life is a continuous series of learning. Even to this date, he is still learning how to speak and also challenge himself to act in other types of films.

5. Take More Risks When You Are Young

One of the most important life lessons you can learn from Jackie is to take risks when you are young. How do you think Jackie arrived at the Hollywood and make his mark in the movie industry? The answer is that he dares to take a lot of risks when he was young.

He is famous for his dangerous stunts that most people never dare to attempt. There have been many times when he failed at his stunts and almost killed him. He has a lot of broken bones and surgeries, but he never regretted his decisions.

Helen Keller once said, “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all,” and she was right. If you want to be extraordinary and live your life to the fullest, you need to take risks, follow your dreams, and do something that normal people never dare to do. Of course, this is not to say that you should do something dangerous like Jackie, but rather, you should follow your dreams and listen to your heart.

If you want to start a business, what is stopping you? If you want to be a great actor like Jackie Chan, accept the risk and take a leap of faith. Even if you fail, it is alright because at least you did it and there will be no regret at the end of your life.